I saw a tweet today on Twitter about the criminalisation of prostitution posted by Open Doors of an article in the Irish Times that really got my knickers in a twist. A Swedish Detective Inspector proposes criminalising the purchase of sex in Ireland, stating that “Prostitution is viewed as violence against women, and the majority of women in this world are hurt by it – physically and mentally.”

What irks me is that this is a generalised and paternalistic view of prostitution. This DI works specifically in trafficking, so her view of the sex industry is skewed in one direction. What most “feminists”, and people in general, don’t realise is that not all sex work is forced and violent.

I’m a sex worker, and I can tell you that my job is in no way violent and I do not consider myself to be a victim. I work independently and there are no pimps hanging about. I chose this work and it has suited my needs for many years now.

Criminalisation of prostitution would put me out of a job and possibly onto the street.

If I could wave a magic wand and choose my ideal job, would this be it? No. But there are no magic wands in life. This is the real world. I tried long and hard to get a “normal” job, but in London, unless you’re a shining star with a truckload of qualifications and outstanding achievements, the best you can hope for is minimum wage or not much better. In the real world, I would rather be a prostitute than work at McDonald’s or clean toilets. Honestly, to me, working at McDonald’s like a dog for a pittance is more humiliating and degrading than being a prostitute. I know, I used to work there.

One aspect of sex work that is important to me is that I am able to do it part-time and still keep a roof over my head. I need free time because I have a child with some health problems and other issues that require my attention and support. If I worked full-time at a minimum-wage job, I would require benefits to meet living expenses, and my child would require social services to help meet needs I would no longer be able to take care of. This way, I am saving the state money on two fronts.

I find the attitude by so many women’s advocates to be patronizing and misguided. They are well-meaning — I get it. But they only see one side of the issue. Even among so-called liberals, the idea that a woman would choose sex work is appalling. No sane or free woman would choose this as a job, right? She must be doing so under force or violence, surely? That is a condescending and moralistic viewpoint, as far as I’m concerned. They can’t understand or accept that for many of us, it is a choice, and that some of us actually enjoy our work. Being a feminist, being an advocate of freedom and personal liberty, means having the freedom to make choices even if the majority doesn’t approve. I used to belong to academia and a thriving feminist community in a former life. That is, until it became clear to me that most of those women were just a dogmatic, judgmental, and moralistic as the groups they were opposing. Then I waved goodbye and decided to start thinking for myself.

To me, being a feminist means making my own choices, in my job and in my personal life, without condemnation, or, for that matter, pity. I don’t need to be “rescued” from oppression. Being viewed as a victim by the moral feminist crusaders is what’s oppressing me.

So I would like to ask lawmakers to please NOT enact the criminalisation of prostitution and ask society at large to please stop pushing for the criminalisation of prostitution. Don’t condemn the men who seek sex for money, because their reasons for doing so are widely varied (but that’s a story for another time), and don’t judge me for offering sex for money or make sex work illegal. Unless you want my child and I to get on the dole.